Mar

Mar, Happy Birthday!

From Anya.

She has thought it was your birthday everyday, all month.

(And yes, she still calls Mark, Mar. No one ever guessed his name could be shortened . . .)

Funny Stuff (at least to me)

1. I saw a commercial and one of the selling points was this (and I'm typing it as it appeared on the screen):

Only

and

Biggest

It was read by a male booming voice and he said, "Only and biggest show in Georgia."

2. Anya calls snowsuits, snowcutes.

3. Anya often wants to play basketball-hoop.

4. Sometimes Anya pretends to put mascara on her "eyeflashes" as she calls them.

5. This balloon is still floating around our house. Disney makes high-quality balloons! We got this balloon December 12.

6. My children look like they are from the 80's when they dress up.

Parenting Moment #3

I am, of course, outraged, as anyone should be, about companies violating child labor laws and having these precious little people be forced or convinced to work long hours at menial, dangerous, or many other types of inappropriate tasks.

That being said, there is one position that I would hire my daughter, Anya, to fill in a heart beat.

The position is that of Quality Control Engineer (QCE).

I have never met anyone with such an eye for quality and exactness. Her tolerance levels are so razor thin, she can blow out of the water any Six Sigma black belt holder.

For example, she asks for an apple. Actually, a slice of an apple. A thin slice of an apple. A thin slice of an apple with no skin. I go off and do my best to meet the customer's demands and then present the product to her on a plate.

She looks at it, without even picking it up, and says, "I said no skins. Look." Sure enough, there was the slightest red fibrous indication of apple skin on a corner of the slice. It was smaller than a pin head but clearly too large for the QCE.

Her response? The product was garbage. Useless. Inedible by any human. I had failed reaching the required specifications as an apple slicer and was sent back to my factory severely rebuked.

I came back with the imperfection removed. This time the quality inspection was extreme. She looked over, under, around and asked me to rotate the plate a number of times so she could see all angles. She even considered the reddish hue of the apple parts that may have been too close to the removed skin. When the inspection was complete, she picked up the slice, took a bite and turned away to her toys.

Whoa. I barely got by that one. At least I wasn't fired....

An isolated experienced? Not a chance:

"Daddy, can I have some cereal please?"

"Okay." I go get her a bowl with milk. "Here you go."

"That's not enough."

"Well, why don't you eat that and then I'll give you some more."

"No, I want more right here."

I know where this is going and I'm not ready for the daily confrontation yet, so I go get the box and pour about six more cereal flakes into her bowl.

"That's too much. I'm not eating that!" She pushes the bowl away angrily.

Time for the confrontation.... The QCE strikes again.

I was impressed though. How many of us can really tell the difference between 127 and 128 grams of cereal just by looking at it?

I know one child that can...

Inside, Outside

A little while ago, we felt like we were in Utah or Canada, except that we didn't even get to go skiing or see our family! The South was COLD (relatively speaking). We stayed inside more than was healthy, mentally-healthy that is.

Here are a few conversations about the cold.

Going out to the car for church, we had ice on our windows (no garage you know.)

Anya: "Mom, what is all over our windows!?!"

Me: "Ice."

Anya: "I don't like it."

I started the car before Anya got in to begin the defrost process of the windows, so my driver's license scraping job would be faster. Anya saw the exhaust for the first time because it was so cold. Anya: "Mommy, mommy! There's smoke coming from our car. I think it is broken. We'd better get a new one tomorrow!"

A week or so ago, it finally warmed up. Anya got in the car one day and said, "Our car is warm! It's not chilly. I don't like it when it's chilly."

Goals

It's that time of year again--goal setting time! Anya and Austria had a contest last year to see who would be the biggest gainer. Austria steadily worked at this goal all year (eating a doughnut every night*), and Anya procrastinated until the last two months (4 doughnuts a night*).

I was quite happy with the results. To give you an idea of how it all panned out, here are a few facts:

1.The pants Anya wore in October (size 18 month--she has the classic Salmon torso) are now being worn by Austria.

2. Anya has already been through one size of shoes this winter (usually she changes a size maybe once or twice a year).

3. Austria wears 12-18 month clothing, and she is 16 months. For us, that is weird. She is wearing the size she is "suppose" to.

4. Austria graduated to a forward-facing car-seat last month. We had to put on some heavy clothes each time we went out with Anya after Austria was born so she could qualify to face-forward :)

We had an awards banquet, where Anya was given the "Hare" award and Austria was given the "Tortoise" award. Anya is looking forward to growing into her long torso in 2010 and Austria is excited for more of Anya's hand-me-downs.

They are also hoping in 2010 they can focus on trying not to look so much a like . . . which would be good for me, because sometimes if I glance at a picture from the past, I'm not sure which of my daughters it is! (Maybe hand-me-downs aren't as great of a deal as I thought . . . fortunately we move often enough, I can base my guess on the setting of the picture.)

*For those of you who may be wondering, I am NOT a doughnut fan and I actually don't think my kids have EVER had one, much to John's dismay :)

Anya-isms

Anya recently turned 3. And she is becoming wiser each day.

Anya: "Daddy LOVES school, remember?"

Anya singing: "Book of Mormon stories that I telled to my teacher . . . long ago their fathers came from far across the street . . ."

Anya in the car while we were listening to Opera on NPR: "Mommy, can you turn off that grumpy music?"

Anya had been "making a bed" on the coffee table with a blanket and pillow. She is actually quite the perfectionist when it comes to making it--the blanket must have NO wrinkles. After asking me once and not getting a response, Anya said: "Mommy, I want to make a bed. Please, will you cooperate?"

Anya, Austria and John were playing Hi-Ho Cherry-O and Anya said referring to one of the cherries: "Austria this is a major, major, major little piece and you might eat it."

I was talking to Anya one day about Heavenly Father and Jesus, she said: "What about Amen?" I guess Amen is part of the Godhead, we'll have to work on that . . .

Back to Mylando

A big thing for Anya at the Magic Kingdom was all the princesses*. (Yah, you know what that asterisk is for...) I understand that these workers dream of having these jobs their whole lives, but Walt really could have saved the money and have just some mannequins stand there and pose. These people really aren't that far off from one anyway, and you can tell that even Anya is a little suspicious:

We had quite the conversation with Belle if you remember a couple of posts back, but even here, you can see Anya very subtly mocking Belle with her right hand. (We also had the modesty chat as well.)

Sleeping "Cutie" was perhaps Anya's favorite but my least favorite. She was at the end of the line and we were tired of making people laugh and smile at a time when no one wanted to be in that room anymore. Also, borrowing Donald Trump's wig just doesn't work for her.

I did, however, get one picture of all three princesses together. Unfortunately, Sleeping Cutie jumped in at the last moment on the right.

Go back to sleep! :)