Marta Moment #2

Just a short one tonight...

The City of Atlanta is putting down fresh asphalt on one of the roads I cross near the MARTA station. The asphalt had been layed down a while ago but perhaps still a little warm. While I waited for the light to go green I got a little bored (obviously I have a low attention span) and touched my shoe to the warm asphalt that I was about to walk over to see how soft it was. A little drunk man must have loved the sight as it appeared to him that I was "dipping my toe" into the street "to test the water." The little man burst out, "Don't worry, Sonny, you won't fall in!"...

I'm sure he probably thought he was swimming across when the light turned green...

First Things First

Anya went to work with me. Well, that's a bit of a stretch... Yesterday, we all went down to my office which is on campus to print some things. It was the first time that she has ever stepped foot on a university campus. "Step foot" is a bit of a misnomer, I suppose - she didn't even get out of her car chair the whole time... At least she knows where I work now. ("Knows" might be another misnomer... ) That brings the total number of locations she has visited to about nine (not including the hospital) - not bad for being alive for only 37 days. Your and my lives are probably not near as exciting if you look at it from this point of view. A new place every four days...

For example, can you say you went to the library and the grocery store for the very first time in your life last week? Probably not.

Or can you say that yesterday you traveled away from home farther than you ever have before? No. I highly doubt it.

Oh... Last one. Did you get five new outfits (and some burp rags) in the last two weeks, without even leaving the confines of your own house? No. I'm sure you didn't... but you wish you did! (Including the burp rags!)

Eventually we all have to face it: Little Anya's life is quite exciting at least in the area of doing things for the first time. I suppose we can't complain though. We all had a chance at doing things for the first time. (After all, have you ever met someone that jumped directly to doing something for the "second" time?...) I'm not saying that the only people who have exciting lives are those who do new things all the time, but if that was the only criterion for an exciting life, new babies will certainly place high!

Okay, so what's the moral of this post? If you are feeling a little down and your life seems a little unexciting, visit a new grocery store... (or at least order some burp rags online...)

The Executive

In an episode of Seinfeld, Kramer and Morty try to make money by selling some vintage, belt-less overcoats which are called "the Executive." Some people in my family have extended this to a white bathrobe which we often joke would make us feel we are better than other people if we had but one of these "Executives"... I know.... One of those weird family things (your family has many too, I'm sure...) but it's really quite funny for us. Anyway, the Armstrong's got Anya an "Executive." It's been of course "baby-fied" with a duck hood which makes it cute, but it's twice as cute with Anya in it. Here she is in her "Executive" after a little bath...


Over the last couple of weeks we have received some wonderful packages with clothes and blankets for little Anya. We want to thank you (as well as those who don't ever read this blog) for sending and giving them to Anya who (with us) appreciates them greatly... Also, I didn't know this but girls start very early choosing what they wear. If Anya doesn't want to wear what Lindy or I chose, she spits up all over it and hopes one of us will dress her in a different outfit. Hopefully, that trend won't continue into her teen years...

A Bible! A Bible!... We already shoplifted a Bible!

Well, my school semester is starting to affect the frequency of blog posts but hopefully soon we will have a guest writer (Lindy) to fill in for me from time to time.

So, on to some random items that have happened recently and worth mentioning...

Earlier this week I was discussing a topic of great import with some of my co-workers: shoplifting. One co-worker claimed that bibles are the most frequently shoplifted item. I had to laugh because that is ironic and hilarious... We joked that hopefully there are no repeat offenders of that particular crime...

I did some searching and found that in some categories the most frequently shoplifted item is actually meat... I'm sure among "vegetarians shoplifters" that statistic is just not true. Or maybe you are less likely to shoplift if you are a vegetarian... But the corollary is also interesting. I eat meat and I eat as much as possible but I don't shoplift (except I have to confess that I've taken more than one of those little sausages-on-a-toothpick samples handed out by the grocery ladies on particular days... ) Anyway, it's an interesting PhD topic that I may or may not get to while I attend Georgia Tech.

Changing the topic, I was watching a little of American Idol a few days ago. I have never seen a full show yet and thus I don't know a lot about it. My cousin Lisa will be very disappointed in me but as I was watching I said to Lindy, "Hey, there is a girl singing in the Idol preliminary rounds who has the exact same name as Kelly Clarkson and they are letting that Justin guy try-out again this season..." I didn't realize until quite some time that it was a "looking back at where we were" type of broadcast. The "American Idol Rewind" title clued me in... I'm quite embarrassed about my mistake. Kind of. At the same time I feel quite proud that I know so little about pop culture that I can make such a mistake. I think during Season 1 I was getting back from my mission anyway...

Okay, I don't want to make this post too long but Lindy claims that Anya smiled at her for the first time while I was at school. She was quite excited about that. That means that for every smile we get, there are about 30 days of feeding and crying. I hope to be there at the next smile sometime around February 20th...

Goodnight!!!!

Hot Tub Time!

The school week is over and I had some more time to play with Anya. It was a blast! I love this little girl. We think she is slowly getting bigger but she has a while yet before she fills her newborn clothes...

We also gave her more of an official bath recently. All those boxing matches have taken their toll on little Anya and it was time for a soothing, relaxing hot tub to rejuvenate her little muscles. She's had a number of sponge baths but this was a full on hot-tub hobbit-sized...


She surprised us in that she absolutely loved it! Usually when she tries something new for the first time (like the stroller on our first walk) she doesn't really enjoy it. It seems she has to get used to things. Although, perhaps all the sponge baths were her preparations...

Now you may notice that her little tub doesn't have any jets and so I had blow through a straw constantly to give her the real experience. I obviously had to stop to take the pictures. We think she may have even smiled a little... well, as much as she does currently...

Marta Moment #1

I decided that I need to record some of my "Marta Moments." MARTA is the Metropolitan Atlanta Rapid Transit Authority or public transportation for the City of Atlanta. I use it everyday to go to and from Georgia Tech. Like on most public modes of transportation you see a lot of weirdos, hear some ridiculous conversations (have some as well with the weirdos) and witness some interesting, crazy and unbelievable things. These are Marta Moments.

I've already missed writing about some great stories but I will record a funny one that happened today. I might even write about the other ones that happened last semester some time. I'm sure as I write about these some will be funny and some may not be but to me they always were (and will be) hilarious.

I got on the train and a few stops later a frazzled lady with a fresh $6 Starbucks coffee cup sat down beside me. I was next to the window and she was in the aisle seat. She quickly pulled out more things from her purse than I own. The coffee cup was placed between her knees while she tried to apply some eye shadow and other makeup to her face. I was amazed that she could do all these things with a purse in her hands, a work bag in her hands, her hands full of makeup gear, and coffee between her knees while the MARTA train stopped, started and braked a number of times. Yes, she had more things in her hands than she had hands. My stop came before hers and as the train was coming to a stop, I said "Excuse me." In the next 1 second, a plethora of things occurred. She quickly packed up her bags in a flash and shifted her legs into the aisle and remembered her coffee cup was between them about 2 microseconds too late. She reached for the cup instinctively with her "full" hands and instead of grabbing it tight, she flung its contents into a crowd of passengers and their luggage, spilling boiling coffee in every direction, painting the train car floor in a thin coat of brown fluid and wrecking probably $500 worth of shoes, brief cases and the bottom parts of various coats. I felt like it was almost my fault for wanting to get out at my stop... Imagine that: feeling guilty that you want to get off at your own stop... I barely had time to say an unnecessary "sorry" before calmly walking away from the most chaotic train car I've ever seen and out through the closing doors. I'm sure she was apologizing to every soul in that car for the next 8 stops... What a mess. In case you think I was completely insensitive, rude, unforgiving, unhelpful, uncharitable, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera, there is a rule plastered all over every train station that no one is allowed food or beverages on the MARTA! Now that doesn't affirm my actions, but there was really nothing for her, me or anyone else to do for that matter. The car was packed with too many people and there was no way to clean up the coffee which was spread even more by the movement of the train. Small tentacles of brownish substance were quickly flowing down the train sticking to everything it touched. The deed was done and people were to live with the consequence for a long time yet. Truly one person can destroy an entire train car! I saw it happen. Don't drink and apply!

Anya wasn't actually as mad as she looks when I took this picture...

A Trip to the Chattahoochee River

We celebrated Martin Luther King Day with a trip to the Chattahoochee River. (Chattahoochee is more fun to say than type - in case you were wondering...) It was another beautiful day outside and the temperature reached 71 degrees during our walk. I love to see the temperature where I live now so much higher than where I lived before... Did I say that already?... I should stop rubbing it in... (but note the sandals I'm wearing later!)

So here is a picture of us on the shore of the Chattahoochee. If our smiles look a little fake... they are. The surrounding environment smelt rather badly and we were both choking to stay conscious. Perhaps the Chattahoochee needs to be cleaned. In fact, the camera was placed on an elevated manhole cover to take this picture. Actually, by the look on our faces you can tell what this manhole cover was covering!!! It reminded me of those summer days many moons ago when I worked for the City of Calgary Sewer Division. Oh, how we move on! Oh, how we move on...


After looking at this picture a little longer, I realized I need a haircut. My hat looks like it is sitting on top of quite a rat's nest... I also noticed I'm wearing a Calgary Flames shirt. A little trivia: the Flames used to be the Atlanta Flames before they moved to Calgary in 1980. None of the fellow walkers said anything about my shirt. Maybe they were offended and are still trying to forgive Calgary... but then the Thrashers are doing okay...

Now, I doubt the Grandma's really want to see a picture of the parents. As cute as we are, we're just their kids - not their grandkids. And they don't give a hoochee about the Chattahoochee! Happy MLK day!

Hammer Time!

We all went for a walk this afternoon after church. Well, I should say that only 2 of us actually walked. One of the members of the family refused to walk and only consented to go if she could "ride." We had to go fast enough to keep the stroller's occupant happy but slow enough to keep the stroller's occupant content. Everyone in our party relaxed when the stroller's occupant fell asleep.


We actually walked to both ends of our apartment complex going by the lake and pool, in which one could probably go swimming as it was so nice out. I say this because weather.com tells me it is freezing in locations I have previously resided. I love to see the temperature where I live now so much higher than where I lived before... I feel empathy for all those Canadians and Utahns... but do I really?...

We also learned that Anya is a fan of M.C. Hammer. We found some pink Hammer pants which she demanded we put on her and then she started singing "Can't Touch This" with her renown appendage flailing dance moves:

Is Anya a Hobbit?

We came across quite an interesting picture...

On first glance, Anya looks like she has a pointed right ear like a hobbit. But further inspection shows it is just a red binder. However, it was enough for us to consider some of the evidence that she is a hobbit. After all you might still be a hobbit without pointy ears... Firstly, she has a thick lot of hair on her head like a hobbit. Secondly, she's small like a hobbit. Thirdly, she loves to eat like a hobbit (this is resulting in a double chin - see earlier post). And lastly, she is sometimes heard saying something close to "gollum" in her sleep but that could be just throat noises...

While feeding Anya last night, we watch some television for the first time in a couple of weeks. Usually we feed Anya in the bedroom but we decided to have a Friday Night activity. We watch about 10 minutes of a game show called "1 vs 100" or something like that. I won't explain the rules or anything here but it's based on answering trivia questions, etc. like so many other game shows out there. That isn't the interesting thing. The interesting thing was the lack of basic knowledge of some of the participants. For example, 4 out of 96 people didn't know that 17:00 is the same as 5:00pm... I'm glad that the question wasn't "What does '5:00pm' mean?" as I might have been even more dismayed at the possible results... I guess there is usually a "near normal distribution" for things like this but I still likes to think that there is a finite lower limit...

I must say, I leaned a little closer to home schooling for Anya when that time comes...

200 diapers!

Today marks a very important day for Anya and her parents. Today we officially used our 200th diaper! Another interesting statistic is that we broke a new "diaper use rate" record. Little Anya was able to fill 4 diapers in just over an hour. It was quite phenomenal. I am still amazed that something so little can make something so large so often... (Hopefully, Anya will not seek to break her own record.)

However, it was a good sign that she is drinking milk... and lots of it. Yes. Lots.

We also opened up a new bag of diapers. We have now officially tried 4 different brands of diapers. Anya doesn't seem to have a preference. She treats each one equally... I suppose it is her first lesson in not being prejudice... (although I would not want to be one of these diapers the way Anya treats them...)

Well, you can see that I'm slowly becoming a baby bowel movement expert. I apologize if someone thinks this topic is inappropriate but I'm learning it is a large part of the first few weeks of parenthood and discussing the status of "these current events" comes up very often in our conversations. We do our best to identify how she is feeling and this is just one of the clues. Using some scientific terms, we try to interpret the chromatic attributes, viscosity, volume, and hydration levels of the outputs. The analysis has proved to be helpful in regulating the subject... and we can all guess how important that is!

To the new parents (and scientists) out there: Happy Changing!

The Subordinate Claws

It's been an exciting week... If you just started reading this blog, we've had a run-in with a cop, a near monster attack and today Anya was de-clawed for the first time in addition to the unveiling of her little fingers to the public. Boy oh boy! What a week!

Anya "Scissorhands" Salmon had her nails trimmed today. It was quite the process which included taming her with a large dose of a substance containing proteins, fats, lactose, and vitamins. Next, we lulled "Scissorhands" into a state of relative unconsciousness with her eyes closed. Lastly, we secured most of her appendages with thick squares of soft material to eliminate unnecessary "flailing" of the aforementioned appendages. The last step was to carefully unsheathe the claws by removing the gloves thereby exposing everything in sight to the deadly razor sharp talons for a few moments before clipping them into a much more safe condition.


The procedure had its hiccups but at the end a less dangerous set of hands is ready to greet the world. One of the surgeons, Lindy Salmon, later reported, "I was responsible for the actual clipping. It was a little intense, but I took a deep breath, focused, and everything turned out fairly well." Anya's parents couldn't be more pleased. They can now hold her without gloves on... ;)

Since the de-clawing, Anya has scraped herself a couple of times but fortunately the self-inflicted blows were not lethal, which they would have been without the surgery. As shown, she loves to move her hands around with the new found freedom.

Disclaimer: Do not attempt the de-clawing of predatory animals or the clipping of razor sharp nails of little babies at home. The handlers of Anya were loving professionals, were well acquainted with the potential risks involved and used the proper equipment at all times.

The Monster Under the Crib!

We were just a few seconds too late from snapping a picture of the "monster under the crib." The picture below provides indisputable evidence that the monster was in fact directly behind the camera. By a fluke chance we had the flash turned off on the camera and thus the monster's shadow can be clearly seen on little Anya's face. Her expression is perhaps evidence enough for a full investigation. However, if you look close enough you can actually see the monster's figure reflected in Anya's pupils...


I quickly turned around and took a picture as fast as my camera would let me... but in my rush to take the "picture of the century" I was unable to get the camera in focus before the little monster dashed away and was safely hidden back under the crib.


We never saw its face but if you look closely you can make out the colors and rough shape of the creature. The white fluffy feet were unmistakable. We're going to have to set out traps to catch the little monster. I have a feeling this monster will be back sometime...

I went to school for the first time in 2007 yesterday. It looks like it will be another busy semester but I plan on playing with Anya as much as possible and keeping everyone up-to-date with our adventures when I have time.

I also have been wanting to throw this "stork" out for a while. He's done his job. So here is a picture of him hanging on the light switch - for the very last time. (He will be in the garbage by tomorrow... No. He won't be in the scrapbook... He's too large and we all know Lindy and scrapbooks don't see eye to eye...)

A run-in with a cop

Anya was mistaken for "Little burglar P.J." earlier this morning. Little burglar P.J has been known to crawl down heating ducts and steal candy from other babies throughout our county. The cops busted in our apartment and told everyone of us to "get our hands up". Anya complied with his request as well.

The police officer quickly realized his mistake and apologized for his intrusion. He realized that this was "Anya the great boxer" who never takes off her boxing gloves (even at night) and thus would never be guilty of grabbing candy... you just can't grab much with these gloves over your hands... "baby innocence" was proven once again!

However, the "de-clawing" procedure has been scheduled and her hands will be revealed to the public for the first time this year. Watch for the exclusive coverage only here on Blogaslovenia!

I mentioned earlier that Anya might be getting a double chin... It's sometimes hard to tell though because almost everyone has one if they look down at a large enough angle relative to their body. In this picture, though, Anya isn't really looking down at all... the second chin must be genuine! Good work, Anya! You're putting on... ounces.

Anya did lots of good things today

Anya had a good day. Some days are good; some are not so good. Today was good.


She slept through the entire walk around the apartment complex today. This was a huge improvement from previous walks in that today's was the first tearless walk.

We also went to a restaurant called "Longhorns" with every last family member within 300 miles of Atlanta. I ordered some salmon. Lindy ordered some steak. Both were delicious. Anya opted out of ordering... She still prefers "home grown milk" to meat as we found out when we gave her a chunk of rib-eye to suck on... just joking! (I'm sure some mother out there reading this is having a heart attack!) Actually, Anya slept through the whole meal despite a crowded (and thus predictably) noisy restaurant. We were surprised (and thrilled). I doubt we will be going out with her every night to a restaurant but if we do, we have a little more confidence that things will work out.


My parents enjoyed their last shopping day of the season. Why? My mom claims she goes on trips to shop as she never does at home. While this was happening, my dad caught up on all his reading as he waited in the car for her at the various stores. He must have read about 20 hours worth in 3 days. Not bad for sitting in a Buick. Alita and I went swimming at their hotel and met a man who buys and sells hotels. "But not this size," he said, "Small ones." He didn't offer to sell one to me. I guess I didn't look like the buying type.

More into baby than into camera...

Another day playing with the relatives... Anya was held quite a bit today by her Grandma and Aunties. They are like us and fell for her good looks in seconds. We are all wrapped around little Anya's little fingers but it is easy to see why...

Her hair is starting to thin and turn a lighter color (there goes the one thing that I gave to her...). We are noticing some balding spots... or maybe her hair is just clumped together and needs to be fixed...


I was actually thinking about what my hair would look like if I took 10 naps a day and had somebody rubbing my head from time to time all day long. My hair would probably be crazy. So, poor little Anya has to live through a lot - sleep, eat, have head massages, sleep some more and then eat some more - but at the cost of having a wacko hairdo constantly. But then I suppose many of us would go for the same treatment especially if we didn't have to go out in public.

One more thing. My parents did not think that the "World's Largest Aquarium" was worth the money. It was great but a little overpriced. It sounds like the building itself which houses the aquarium may be the largest (by square footage) but my parents claim they have seen bigger aquariums (by gallons of water or by different species number - whichever criterion you prefer). So, if you are a marine biologist, come to Atlanta for the people, not for the belugas.

Happy New York!

With stories about the "Big Apple" coming up in conversations around the house recently, Anya wanted to join in on the festivities. Apparently Atlanta isn't big enough of city for little Anya... Thank you Uncle Jay and Aunt Kjerstina for the onesie! (I just learned right now that what she is wearing is called a "onesie.")

However, she definitely is a "small little" girl in a big city... She's so small she can get lost on our bed! If you can't see her in the following picture, she is the white little speck in the middle...


This is a picture of her little feet in actual size (assuming your computer screen is set at the correct pixel resolution...). We have a friend who doesn't like feet but I think that even she would want to play with these little toes...


Anya is still trying to figure out her sleeping schedule... and in general she is still trying to figure out how to sleep... In this picture she is trying out the "arched back, karate hand chop, lying on your side" position...It seemed to work so we aren't complaining. If I slept like that my neck would be hurting for a week!

Grandma and Grandpa Salmon Arrive!

My parents arrived with two of my sisters from New York. They spent a few days there visiting Jay and Kjerstina, going to Broadway shows, visiting tourist traps, and partying with a certain smelly man in Central Park while watching the ball drop at Times Square from a distance of about 1 mile. Luckily, the digital camera had a 400X zoom and thus my father was able to record the ball drop as if he were standing on top of it! So, that explains why we weren't able to see them on the TV - they weren't even near the network cameras at Times Square! They also enjoyed a free $200...or maybe a $300 dinner at a French restaurant right in Jay's apartment building. Maybe it was $400... The owner of the restaurant and apartment building was offering free meals to his tenants since the building has been without hot water since last year! (Okay... it's only been a couple days but it sounds more extreme... but still "since last year!")

Here are the weary travelers with a cyborg on the far left that looks very similar to my younger sister Alita.


Anya took the "love-smothering" relatives all in stride. She likes her new clothes and her new blanket she received for Christmas as well. The blanket is very bright so if you have to put on your sunglasses to see this picture you may.


From all the traveling, probable jet lag and standing in lines at New York tourist traps for hours on end, Anya's grandfather was as tired as she was. His arm even got tired once holding her up! Looks like the little boxer is getting heavier! (In fact, some say her face is getting a little fatter too... and a double chin is appearing...)

First Game of Chess

Little Anya played chess against me today. I fell for the "fool's mate" - she checkmated me in two moves! But she distracted me because she is so cute! I declared a rematch but she just laughed in my face.


Anya told Lindy which pieces to move and then Lindy moved the pieces. (Anya is trying to teach her.) In the picture above, Anya is pointing at my "King" in mockery after my swift loss. I only cried for an hour.

In other news, we surpassed the "100 diapers" milestone earlier today (So soon!?) . The goal is to have Anya potty trained before we reach 200. Anya gave no comment. :)

We also want to thank those persons who have helped me out with the cooking so far. We have enjoyed many wonderful meals. Thank you! We hope we can return all the Tupperware to their rightful owners. No one needs this much Tupperware...

Anya immediately preceding a sneeze

Happy New Year!

Welcome to 2007! We partied like it was 1999... not by choice, but by necessity. Lindy, Anya and myself partied all night long, we drank milk and changed diapers all the way into the new year. In fact, we had so much fun that we took shifts partying with little Anya continually, who partied the hardest of all!

We watched the ball in New York drop to bring in the new year and looked for my family in the crowd on TV. We think we spotted them wearing excessively large red hats and "2007 paper eye glasses" but we can't be sure. There were a lot of men with digital cameras and so I couldn't pick out my father... We are now a little worried about their next stop in Atlanta in a couple days... We party hard here - all night long - but we don't have any excessively large red hats or funny looking eyeglasses for everyone...

Around lunch time we went on a walk for the first activity of the new year. We went much farther than last time. This time we actually walked outside of our apartment complex. For the rest of the day Anya recovered by sleeping beside her mom on the bed.

We also made some new year's resolutions. Some of them are written here. As mentioned previously, Anya resolved to go to bed at 7pm every night and sleep straight for 12 hours. I also resolved to go to bed at 7pm and sleep for 12 hours every day too. Lastly, Lindy resolved to lose the pregnancy weight she accumulated over that last 9 months. We all agree that Lindy has the best chance of succeeding especially since she is already more than half way there! You look great, Hon!