Comments on Comments

Hilarious. Simply hilarious.

After my previous post on March 18th, we received four comments from seemingly random people. I want to dissect their comments and make some of my own. About them. I encourage you to read their comments beforehand as I will make references to them. It may be a little more clear.

Now, in the order they commented...

michael ringwood's: Thanks for the compliment. She is a cute child... But I only had one person to whom I was wishing a happy birthday (to my brother), so the plural "to them" was kind of weird of him to say. (Perhaps it wasn't clear in my post). Still, I did look at his "birthday ecards" site/blog and I know a couple of website designers who perhaps wouldn't call his layout/style/colors "unfailed." Oh yah. Wrong sport Michael. I was watching basketball "games" not tennis "matches."

"smilesleep": smilesleep is from China. He may be my first overseas commenter. That is fine. I'm glad we are going international now, but I think he was trying to get me to watch some video about Lego men. Apparently, he thought that I "will have an interest in it." Perhaps the correct word would be "had" an interest. I did play Lego as a young boy but I just haven't found the time since moving to Atlanta. Although I may rekindle that hobby when Anya is a little older... Now.... what "rocks so much?" That threw me for a loop. But then that comment was easily overshadowed in confusion by the very last sentence: "I hope they have a life." Who is "they?"... and I hope they have a life too...

carol's: I didn't really "wish" Scott anything other than a happy birthday... Everything else I wrote was speculation based on his own work ethic, vocational aspirations and current age. Also, since carol doesn't know that we live many, many miles from my brother it was a little "far out there" to hope that we had a party for him. However, of the four comments this one seemed most normal.

linda ringwood's: This might be my favorite one. I don't know if I write like a girl or if the name "John" is now used as a female name but apparently she thought I'm Scott's sister. But here is the real funny thing... IN that very post, I declared that I'm a father! Now the world is pretty sick sometimes but usually fathers aren't sisters. At first, I thought she* skipped the first paragraph but everything in her comment was about Scott so I'm pretty sure that she must have read that I was a father. (Again, maybe it just wasn't that clear in my post. Please let me know if my subtexts just aren't getting through to whoever read these...) Lastly, and obviously, the Ringwoods sure like their birthdays. I suppose if I'm ever "at scarcity" (?) for birthday party ideas I have some great links to resources right on this blog... But then again, she states herself that her blog only has a "few things on it"... so maybe just not a comprehensive resource...

Anyway, thanks for the laughs everyone! Good luck with your advertising! Maybe you will do a blog search on the word "birthday" and come back to this blog... Isn't that how you got here in the first place?... :)

*I usually consider Linda as a female name...

Happy Green March Madness Birthday!

Oh boy oh boy! What a month. It's only been a few days since I last posted but enough has happened in the last 96 hours to write volumes.

First of all... Happy Birthday Scott! I believe he is 24 today. To let you know how far advanced he is ahead of me, my brother Scott has been a father for months. Thus, he actually became a father at age 23. (I was already 26 when we had our first child!) During the three years difference until he is my age, he will more than likely graduate from law school and be making 5 times more than me before I even finish school. He will own a yacht and perhaps a small business jet... (I was going to say that he will own an island in the Caribbean but we all know that it is simply just too hot there for him... ;) ...)

Next... Happy (Belated) St. Patrick's Day! Anya was celebrating in the appropriate green garb as expected. We were considering putting some green dye into Anya's bath water and having our own private St. Patrick's parade but the party upstairs was more than wild enough for all three of us and it gave us more "Paddy's Day" ruckus than what we wanted.


Lastly... The NCAA Men's Basketball Tournament has started this weekend. (I sincerely hope that the previous sentence doesn't come to a surprise to anyone...) I have five brackets I currently check almost hourly going in different work and family groups and various websites. What a ride! I've been kicked out of one, I lead in another, I'm okay in a third, I've bombed in a fourth and the fifth is for $10,000 that I'm hoping will pay for Anya's delivery! (It's a good thing I wasn't betting on winning that last one and had some health insurance since I've already witnessed enough upsets with regards to my choices to dash my hopes...)

Anyway, in the mean time, Anya and I will be watching a lot of basketball this month. She loves this game! (Or at least she loves the TV - she twists and turns and rolls to catch a glimpse of it... what a corker!)

Susan Richards II

The midterms are over!!!! I hope that those of you who have recently checked this blog didn't think that I quit making posts and out-sourced it to my wife and daughter... Although I may have to do that temporarily at the end of the semester when I'm gone for a lot of the time studying...

Speaking of being gone... Anya has a unique gift. (In Marvel Comics world, they call it a mutation...) She can make herself invisible.

This picture I snapped recently displays her right hand disappearing. You can actually see right through her arm!!!!

(It's also interesting that when we spike her hair it looks like some of it disappears as well. Although, after careful analysis, it just looks that way as her hair is so thin...)

Now, we all now that Anya is quite little, and we all lose small things from time to time but after this latest discovery we are more worried than ever. I mean, since she's just a little girl, what if she forgets to reappear after being invisible for a while?! Thankfully her cries don't disappear so I guess it's okay and we'll be able to track her down if that ever happens...

(Did I type "thankfully"?)

USPS

A couple of months ago John had the idea that we could weigh Anya at the Post Office. I laughed, but then recalled our last bill for 140 bucks from the pediatrician's when it seemed like all they did was weigh her. (I don't have an MD but I think I could do that procedure accurately...) Anyway, last night I needed some stamps and so we went to the Post Office to buy some. When we arrived there were two women there, but they quickly left. While I was putting stamps on some envelopes, John was trying to weigh Anya. He ended up weighing her in the car seat and then weighing the car seat separately, because, in case you've never done this, the post office scale is probably not designed for flailing babies. Obviously she was in her clothes, but if we wanted to send Anya first class mail, she would weigh 10 pounds and 9 ounces. It would probably be cheaper just to send her in one of those flat rate boxes. I wish I had a picture of our outing... but the post office might have caught it on their security camera :) Maybe Anya will be receiving letters from her father in prison for the first couple of years of her life. Anyway instead of that video, I'll just throw up some random pictures for your enjoyment. (FYI: For those Canadians who may not know the acronym USPS stands for United States Postal Service.)

Chinese New Year Party!

Anya decided to celebrate the Chinese New Year a little late this year because she was sick. Instead of celebrating February 18 with everyone else, she choose to bring in the year of the Pig or DingHai in March. Her friend Elizabeth made sure she brought in the new year with some style. The Chinese characters mean "Live long 100 years" (I think). Thanks Elizabeth.

How to Give a Smile - by Anya Salmon

Hi! It's me, Anya. It's my turn to write in the blog. Today I'm going to teach you how to give a smile to brighten someone's day and I'll show you how to do each step in a picture.

Here goes...

The first step in giving a smile is simply to begin! For all you non-smilers out there that seems ridiculous but starting is half the smile! Try it right now. If you start your smile it is hard to stop it from coming... Anyway, I find that I make it more dramatic if I start my smile by pressing my chin against my neck. (In general, I find it improves the effect):


The next step is to look at the person to whom you are giving the smile. This is important because each parent (in my situation) thinks that the smile I gave was exclusively for them. (I've caught them both claiming to receive a smile when it was just gas...)


The third step is to begin curling your lips upward and open your eyes for emphasis. I find people like to see my big beautiful eyes during a smile. (Sorry, my dad made me write that last sentence... I apologize for his bragging... He won't let me delete it...)


The fourth step is to open your mouth and let every one see your pearly whites... ( I don't have teeth yet and so I stick out my tongue...but I wouldn't recommend that if you are trying to impress the other person...)


A testimonial to the above method:
"Using these four steps above will help you get a lot more attention. It works for me. I find my life so much more richly rewarding and satisfying as my parents run to meet my every wish when I give them a smile." -Anya, A Smiler of 4 Weeks

Well, that's all from me today. Thanks for reading my blog! Happy Smiling!

Road Rage

Well, we have discovered Anya has already developed a bad case of road rage at the ripe, young age of 2 months. Like her father, she has a difficult time being patient at red lights and in stop and go traffic. I, on the other hand, am too busy trying to find my way around this place to get mad at anyone.

For example, last night I headed off to a friend's birthday bash, with google map notes in hand. It seemed the birthday bash host lived pretty far south to still be in our ward boundaries, but who wouldn't trust google maps? Well . . . I don't any more. Anya of course got a little impatient until we got on the freeway. However it wasn't exactly the best time to travel since many people were making their daily commute home from work. As I got closer to my supposed destination, I couldn't help wonder if the birthday host felt safe in her neighborhood. That was when I started to lose trust in google maps. As I arrived at the destination, I found it wasn't actually the correct place. After some phone calls, I realized I was WAY off, like about 20 miles off. By this time Anya was screaming and continued to do so all the way home.

We are learning Anya isn't a happy camper unless we are going at least over 45 miles an hour, without any stopping. Here's a picture of her BEFORE getting in the car. You would never guess she has a bad case of road rage . . .